No Apologies

I haven't posted anything in a few days. I believe proper blog etiquette requires me to apologize for not having posted. Or maybe I should have warned you in advance that I wouldn't be posting for a few days. That seems to be the standard practice on blogs these days.

Not on this blog.

I don't remember receiving your subscription payment. I don't remember promising you a rose garden, let alone a frequently-updated blog. Show me the contract that obligates me to do anything for you. Since when am I your performing flea?

This is a new blog, and you're not used to my ways, so maybe I need to make something crystal-clear right now before you start getting the wrong idea. I'll blog when I want to, and I won't when I don't. I won't warn you when I'm going to be away, and I won't apologize when I return. You're entitled to nothing more than what I give you when I give it. If you don't like it, leave. There are plenty of other sniveling bloggers out there anxious to cater to your every whim.

Speaking of which, it might be fun to write a blog that does nothing more than apologize for not blogging. My evil twin (yes, I'm not the only evil one in the family) actually started his blog with this concept in mind (here's his first post, the best and truest thing he's ever written), but his narcissism quickly pushed that idea aside in favor of cloyingly self-absorbed observatory postings that suck the life out of life itself.